Some people think that computers and the internet are more important for a child’s education than going to school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 5 on the four official criteria. All four criteria were marked at 5. The biggest single improvement: Answer the exact comparison in the prompt: develop why school-based education remains more important, using a clear contrast between "online education" and "going to school".
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 5 | The position is clear in statements such as "I disagree with this statement", and the essay discusses both advantages and disadvantages of online education. However, the response does not fully address the comparison with going to school because the importance of school-based education is only briefly mentioned, and the ideas are not sufficiently developed or supported. |
| Lexical Resource | 5 | The essay uses some relevant vocabulary, including "online education", "fuel expenses", "overall wellbeing" and "friendship and trust factors", but much of the word choice is repetitive, imprecise or unnatural. Frequent spelling and word-form errors such as "eduaction", "ellaborate", "coperative" and "perfomances" reduce control of written vocabulary. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 5 | The writer attempts compound and complex sentences with connectors such as "because", "as well as" and "if", but grammatical errors are frequent across subject-verb agreement, articles, plurals, prepositions and sentence construction. Meaning is usually understandable, although examples such as "petrol prices has significantly high" and "their results has badly effect" show limited control of basic grammar. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 5 | The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the progression from online-learning benefits to drawbacks is generally understandable. However, cohesion is weakened by inaccurate or mechanical transitions such as "To initiate with" and "To begin with", as well as long, poorly controlled sentences and abrupt movement between ideas. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
widely vital
highly important
"Vital" does not normally collocate with "widely"; use "highly important" or "essential".
children eduaction
children's education
Use the possessive form "children's" before the noun "education" to show that the education belongs to children.
eduaction
education
"Eduaction" is a spelling error; the correct spelling is "education".
ellaborate
elaborate
"Elaborate" is spelled with one "l" after the initial "e".
forth coming
forthcoming
The adjective "forthcoming" is written as one word.
To initiate with
To begin with
"To initiate with" is not a natural introductory linker; use "To begin with" or "Firstly".
has largely important
is largely important
Use the linking verb "is" before an adjective; "has important" is not a valid verb structure here.
largely important
highly important
"Largely important" is an unnatural collocation; "highly important" is the appropriate expression.
How this answer could score higher
- Answer the exact comparison in the prompt: develop why school-based education remains more important, using a clear contrast between "online education" and "going to school".
- Correct recurring basic grammar patterns, especially subject-verb agreement and verb forms, as in changing "prices has" to "prices are" and "has not fully concentrate" to "do not concentrate fully".
- Use natural academic collocations and check spelling, replacing phrases such as "internet education has largely important" with "online education is increasingly important" and correcting "eduaction", "beacuse" and "perfomances".
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