Some people think that computers and the internet are more important for a child’s education than going to school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 8 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Task Response (8); Lexical Resource (7) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Make the position on relative importance more explicit by stating that technology is mainly a supplement, whereas school remains the more important foundation because of teacher guidance and social development.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 8 | The essay addresses both sides of the comparison and presents a clear, consistent position through statements such as "I partly disagree" and "Both should be used together". The main ideas are relevant and well supported by explanations and examples, although the relative importance of school compared with technology could be evaluated more explicitly. |
| Lexical Resource | 7 | The essay uses a good range of accurate, appropriate vocabulary, including "educational materials", "independent learning skills" and "professional guidance". However, the vocabulary is sometimes fairly common and repetitive, particularly around "students", "learning", "school" and "important", so it is stronger at Band 7 than at Band 8. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 8 | The essay demonstrates a wide range of sentence structures accurately, including conditionals, relative clauses, participial clauses and complex comparisons such as "Unlike online resources, teachers can also identify students' weaknesses". Errors are extremely rare, and the few areas for improvement concern increasing structural variety rather than correcting recurring grammatical mistakes. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 8 | The essay has a clear progression from the introduction, through contrasting advantages, to a balanced conclusion, with paragraphs focused on distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as "On the one hand", "On the other hand", "Firstly" and "In conclusion" are accurate and effective, though some transitions are slightly formulaic. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Some people believe that computers and the internet are more important for children's education than attending school. I partly disagree with this view because technology provides useful learning resources, but schools also play an essential role in children's development.
On the one hand, computers and the internet can make learning easier and more convenient. Students can access a wide range of educational materials, such as online courses, videos and digital books. This allows them to study different subjects and review difficult lessons at their own pace. For example, if a student does not understand a mathematics lesson in class, they can watch online videos to learn the topic again. In addition, the internet enables students to access information from around the world, which can help them develop their knowledge and independent learning skills.
On the other hand, I believe that going to school is still extremely important. Firstly, teachers can explain difficult concepts, answer questions and provide immediate feedback. Unlike online resources, teachers can also identify students' weaknesses and adjust their teaching methods accordingly. Secondly, schools help children develop social skills. By studying and participating in group activities with their classmates, children learn how to communicate, cooperate and solve problems together. These skills are difficult to develop fully through computers alone. For instance, group projects at school encourage students to share ideas and respect different opinions.
In my opinion, the best approach is to combine traditional education with modern technology. Schools provide professional guidance and opportunities for social interaction, while computers and the internet offer additional resources to support learning. If children rely entirely on technology, they may miss important face-to-face experiences and could become distracted by online entertainment.
In conclusion, although computers and the internet are valuable educational tools, I do not believe they are more important than attending school. Both should be used together to provide children with a more effective and balanced education.
Corrections from the marking
they can watch online videos to learn the topic again
they can watch online videos to understand the topic better
“Learn the topic again” is an unnatural collocation in this context; “understand the topic better” expresses the intended meaning more naturally.
How this answer could score higher
- Make the position on relative importance more explicit by stating that technology is mainly a supplement, whereas school remains the more important foundation because of teacher guidance and social development.
- Replace repeated general vocabulary such as "important", "learning" and "students" with more precise phrases including "fundamental to broader development", "academic development" and "learners".
- Increase structural variety by using more sophisticated comparison and concession forms, such as "However useful computers may be, they cannot replace the interpersonal development gained through classroom interaction."
Other answers to this question
Write your own answer to this question
Is this your essay? Request removal. Essays are published without any name, email or account details.