When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 7.5 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Grammatical Range & Accuracy (8); Coherence & Cohesion (7) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Respond directly to the word “always” in the prompt: recognise that many people value free time, then explain why others may still choose purposeful or rewarding work.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 7 | The position is clear in “I disagree with this view,” and the essay supports it with benefits for individuals and society. However, the discussion does not fully examine the prompt’s claim that people would “always choose not to work,” so the central comparison and the strength of that claim could be addressed more directly. |
| Lexical Resource | 7 | Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, with topic-relevant expressions such as “self-actualization,” “social development” and “flexible working arrangements.” Repetition of broad terms such as “work,” “people” and “companies,” along with a few generic phrases, limits precision and flexibility. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 8 | The essay uses a range of accurate structures, including subordinate clauses in “when they perform well in their jobs” and a concluding participial phrase in “thereby promoting social development.” Errors are extremely rare, although more varied sentence patterns could make the prose less consistently predictable. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 7 | The essay is clearly organised into an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas progress logically from individual to social benefits. Some connectors, particularly “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” suggest a contrast even though both paragraphs support the same position. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
In recent years, whether people should live without work or spend most of their time working has become a topic of public debate. While some people believe that a life without work would be ideal, I disagree with this view because work can bring benefits to both individuals and society.
On the one hand, working can be regarded as a way to achieve self-actualization. This is because people can gain recognition and rewards when they perform well in their jobs. Some individuals may feel that they are valuable members of their companies when they understand the importance of their roles. For example, a person who succeeds at work may develop a sense of achievement, maintain a positive attitude and find it easier to achieve their goals in life. As a result, people may find satisfaction in their work and become more motivated to contribute to their companies.
On the other hand, human labour plays an important role in the development of society. People who have jobs can contribute to social development by helping various industries operate smoothly. In addition, companies and employees pay taxes to the government in accordance with relevant regulations. For instance, companies pay taxes on their profits, while employees may pay income tax on their earnings. Consequently, the government can use this tax revenue to invest in different fields, such as education, healthcare and infrastructure, thereby promoting social development.
In conclusion, work has a positive impact on both individuals and society. To maximise these benefits, companies should adopt flexible working arrangements to help employees maintain a healthy work-life balance and provide appropriate rewards to recognise good performance.
How this answer could score higher
- Respond directly to the word “always” in the prompt: recognise that many people value free time, then explain why others may still choose purposeful or rewarding work.
- Clarify the relationship between your two supporting paragraphs by replacing “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” with additive transitions such as “First” and “More broadly.”
- Make the personal-benefit argument more concrete by explaining how a specific kind of work or achievement can create fulfilment, rather than relying on general outcomes such as “maintain a positive attitude.”
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