Artificial Intelligence and Employment Some people believe that the increasing use of artificial intelligence and machines will improve people's lives, while others are concerned about its consequences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 5 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Task Response (5.5); Coherence & Cohesion (5) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Develop each main idea with a clear explanation and specific consequence: expand "rapid results" into a concrete benefit such as faster medical diagnosis, and explain how it improves people's lives.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 5.5 | The essay addresses both views through the claims that AI can provide "rapid results" and may cause "job loses", and it gives a clear opinion that employees' jobs are at risk. However, the ideas are only partly developed, with limited explanation of how AI improves life and an insufficiently developed solution for displaced workers. |
| Lexical Resource | 5 | The essay uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including "artificial intelligence", "home appliances", "repetitive actions" and "AI-driven robots", but many word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural. Word-form and spelling problems such as "believe" for the noun "belief", "job loses" and "sever" reduce precision and make the expression sound limited. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 5 | The writer attempts a range of structures, including relative clauses, conditionals and reason clauses, as in "since humans are more prone to error from repetitive actions", but grammatical errors are frequent throughout. Problems with agreement, verb forms, plurals, possessives, articles and sentence construction sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 5 | The response has a recognisable four-part structure, with separate paragraphs beginning "On the one hand" and "On the other hand", but progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear and ideas are repeated. Cohesive devices are used, although some links are awkward or mechanically inserted, such as "In this sense" and "Consequently" where the logical relationship is not fully clear. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
due to their believe
due to their belief
"Believe" is a verb, whereas the noun needed after "their" is "belief".
maintain the believe
maintain the belief
"Believe" is a verb; the correct noun is "belief".
From my perspective, I reckon that artificial intelligence might put employees's jobs at risk.
From my perspective, I reckon that artificial intelligence might put employees' jobs at risk.
The plural possessive form of "employees" is "employees'", with the apostrophe placed after the plural s.
On the one hand, advocates argue that artificial intelligence might enhance people's lives mainly because of its ability to form rapid and demanding solutions, help most societal people in making hard everyday choices, and it might help overcome life threatening situations.
On the one hand, advocates argue that artificial intelligence might enhance people's lives mainly because of its ability to form rapid and demanding solutions, help most societal people in making hard everyday choices, and overcome life-threatening situations.
The three verbs after "its ability to" must be parallel, and the compound adjective "life-threatening" requires a hyphen.
form rapid and demanding solutions
devise rapid and effective solutions
"Form solutions" is a weak collocation, and solutions are normally described as "effective" rather than "demanding".
help most societal people in making hard everyday choices
help most members of society make difficult everyday decisions
"Societal people" is not a natural expression, and "members of society" and "decisions" are more precise choices.
a resource of rapid results
a source of rapid results
"A source of results" is the natural collocation; "a resource of results" is not idiomatic.
mostly all everyday resources such as cars and home appliances
almost all everyday technologies, such as cars and home appliances
"Everyday resources" is imprecise here because cars and appliances are technologies, while "almost all" is the natural expression.
How this answer could score higher
- Develop each main idea with a clear explanation and specific consequence: expand "rapid results" into a concrete benefit such as faster medical diagnosis, and explain how it improves people's lives.
- Prioritise grammatical accuracy in basic forms by correcting examples such as "their believe", "employees's jobs", "job loses" and "AI is take into consideration" before attempting more complex sentences.
- Improve paragraph focus and logical progression: keep the first body paragraph entirely about benefits, the second entirely about employment risks, and explain the proposed solution of retraining workers rather than merely mentioning "a supervising position".
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