Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 5.5 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Task Response (6); Grammatical Range & Accuracy (5) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Prioritise grammatical accuracy in basic structures: correct forms such as "to be successful", "a student", "he truly loves" and "was able to resist" before attempting more complex sentences.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 6 | The essay addresses both questions by arguing that academic failure may reflect an unsuitable environment and that passion is the most important factor in success, as stated in "a right place could make them become their strength" and "do what you are passionate at". The two examples are relevant, but the explanations are fairly general and do not fully explain why school failure can coexist with later success. |
| Lexical Resource | 5 | The essay attempts some less common vocabulary, including "nurture", "pivotal", "traditional values" and "fulfill his dream", and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, frequent word-form, spelling, collocation and word-choice problems, including "Process high qualification", "cloths brand" and "to be success", show limited control and reduce precision. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 5 | There is an attempt to use a range of structures, including relative clauses, concessive clauses and the "not only...but also" pattern, as in "people who fail in school" and "not only he could do...but able to...". Nevertheless, errors in articles, verb forms, agreement, sentence construction and infinitives are frequent and sometimes make sentences difficult to understand. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 6 | The essay has a clear four-paragraph structure, with an introduction, two focused body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally progress from reasons for school failure to the importance of passion. Cohesive devices such as "To start with", "In addition" and "However" are used, although some connections are mechanical and several sentences are difficult to follow because of faulty construction. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
Process high qualification
Possessing a higher qualification
"Process" is the wrong word and part of speech here; the intended meaning requires the verb "possess" in its -ing form.
could be easier engage in a professional occupation with high salary
could make it easier to engage in a professional occupation with a high salary
After “make it easier”, use the infinitive “to engage”, and a singular countable noun such as “salary” requires an article.
it always defined as successful in the society
it is always defined as successful in society
The passive verb requires the auxiliary “is”, and “society” is used here without the definite article when referring to society generally.
defined as successful
regarded as a sign of success
"Defined as successful" is imprecise for describing how society views qualifications; "regarded as a sign of success" expresses the intended idea more naturally.
people could be also successful
people could also be successful
With a modal verb, “also” normally comes after the modal and before the main verb.
with their own talents but not limited by school
through their own talents rather than being limited by their schooling
"Limited by school" is imprecise and does not clearly express the contrast with succeeding through personal abilities.
but not limited by school
without being limited by schooling
The contrasting idea needs a grammatically complete participial structure: “without being limited”.
nothing is more important than do what you are passionate at to be success in your life
nothing is more important than doing what you are passionate about to be successful in life
Use a gerund after “than”, the preposition “about” after “passionate”, and the adjective “successful” after “be”.
How this answer could score higher
- Prioritise grammatical accuracy in basic structures: correct forms such as "to be successful", "a student", "he truly loves" and "was able to resist" before attempting more complex sentences.
- Develop each main idea with a clear explanation after the example; after "over one million fans", explain specifically how creative or practical abilities can be overlooked by academic systems.
- Improve collocation and word-form control by replacing phrases such as "Process high qualification", "show off their strength" and "cloths brand" with "obtain higher qualifications", "demonstrate their abilities" and "clothing brand".
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