Discuss the causes of stress among students.
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 6 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Task Response (6); Lexical Resource (5) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Develop each cause with a clear explanation of how it produces stress; for example, clarify how “new-found freedom” leads to missed deadlines or how peer expectations create social pressure.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 6 | The essay directly discusses three causes—“academic pressure, financial pressure and social pressure”—and gives some relevant explanation for each. However, the academic and social causes are only partly developed, and the example of being invited to an activity does not fully explain how social pressure itself creates stress. |
| Lexical Resource | 5 | The essay uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “scholarships,” “tuition” and “respite,” but its range is limited and key wording is repeated. Several spelling errors, including “taht,” “wouild” and “asd,” reduce accuracy, while “financial security” is imprecise for the cause being described. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 6 | The essay uses a mix of simple and complex structures, including the relative clause in “College students, who may have only studied under strict parental supervision,” and subordinate clauses introduced by “if” and “because.” Most sentences are understandable, though punctuation and sentence-level editing need more care. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 6 | The response is logically organised into an introduction, three body paragraphs and a conclusion, with each body paragraph focused on one cause. Linking phrases such as “Consequently” and “Therefore” make the progression clear but are repeated so often that the writing feels mechanical. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
Stress is a common issue for students in today's fast paced society.
Stress is a common issue for students in today's fast-paced society.
Hyphenate this two-word adjective when it comes before the noun it modifies.
It can negatively impact their academic performance as well as their physical health if not properly managed.
If students do not manage stress properly, it can negatively affect their academic performance as well as their physical health.
The final modifier has an unclear reference; state explicitly that it is the stress that needs to be managed.
THere are many factors taht contribute to a student's stress.
There are many factors that contribute to a student's stress.
“THere” and “taht” are misspellings; the correct spellings are “There” and “that”.
Ultimately, the three main causes for stress among students are academic pressure, financial pressure and social pressure.
Ultimately, the three main causes of stress among students are academic pressure, financial pressure and social pressure.
Use “causes of” to identify the sources of stress.
College students, who may have only studied under strict parental supervision, wouild struggle to manage their new-found freedom.
College students, who may have only studied under strict parental supervision, would struggle to manage their new-found freedom.
“Wouild” is misspelled; the correct spelling is “would”.
Consequently, homework may pile up resulting in compounded stress in the future.
Consequently, homework may pile up, resulting in compounded stress in the future.
Use a comma before this participial phrase, which adds the result of the homework piling up.
Therefore, academic pressure is a major cause for stress among students.
Therefore, academic pressure is a major cause of stress among students.
Use “cause of” to name something that produces stress.
Secondly, financial security contributes substantially to stress among tertiary students.
Secondly, financial pressure contributes substantially to stress among tertiary students.
"Financial security" means having stable finances, whereas the context describes financial pressure as a cause of stress.
How this answer could score higher
- Develop each cause with a clear explanation of how it produces stress; for example, clarify how “new-found freedom” leads to missed deadlines or how peer expectations create social pressure.
- Correct recurring spelling and word-choice issues: replace “taht,” “wouild” and “asd” with “that,” “would” and “and,” and use “financial strain” instead of “financial security” for the problem described.
- Make the cohesion less repetitive by varying or removing repeated “Consequently” and “Therefore” transitions and avoiding the repeated closing claim that each factor is “a major cause for stress.”
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