Some people believe that reducing the number of students in each class is the best way to improve education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 5.5 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Task Response (6); Grammatical Range & Accuracy (5) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Answer the evaluative part of the question more fully by explaining why smaller classes are more effective than the alternatives in "better teaching methods, teacher quality and developed materials," rather than merely listing those alternatives.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 6 | The position is clear from the opening statement, "I largely agree with that," and the essay gives relevant reasons involving teacher attention and student concentration. However, the response does not fully establish why reducing class size is the "best way" compared with alternatives such as improved teaching methods, teacher quality or materials, and several ideas are asserted rather than fully developed. |
| Lexical Resource | 5 | The essay uses some relevant educational vocabulary, including "individual attention," "qualified teachers" and "teacher quality," but its range is limited by frequent repetition of words such as "better," "students" and "teachers." Several word choices and collocations are unnatural, including "develop education," "the attention ... is prominent" and "this issue can be erected," although the intended meaning is generally understandable. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 5 | The essay attempts a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including the conditional structure "if some points are not taken seriously" and the reason clause "since it has potential good outcome." However, grammatical errors are frequent in agreement, articles, plurals, sentence construction and capitalisation, which prevents consistent control of complex language. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 6 | The response has a clear overall structure, moving from the benefits of smaller classes to the practical difficulties of implementation, and the paragraphing is appropriate. Cohesive devices such as "Furthermore," "On the contrary," and "Besides" are used, but some connections are mechanical or inaccurate and several ideas are repeated without a smooth progression. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
A group of people argue that it is the best way to develop education by minimizing students in each class.
A group of people argue that it is the best way to improve education by reducing the number of students in each class.
"Improve education" is the natural collocation, and students are reduced in number rather than minimized.
In the present time, most of the classrooms are bigger and full of students in every institution.
At present, most of the classrooms are bigger and full of students in every institution.
"At present" is the standard expression for referring to the current situation.
Some students tend to understand slower than others, some are the opposite.
Some students tend to understand more slowly than others, whereas some are the opposite.
Use the comparative adverb "more slowly" to modify the verb "understand", and use a conjunction such as "whereas" to join the two clauses correctly.
The attention of the teachers are less prominent to individual student because of having a class full of students.
The attention of teachers is less focused on an individual student because classes are full of students.
The singular subject "attention" requires "is", and the singular countable noun "student" requires the article "an"; the final clause also needs a clear subject.
less prominent
less focused
Attention is normally described as being focused or limited, not prominent.
That makes everything hasty alongside studies.
That makes the learning process rushed.
"Hasty" does not naturally describe the whole learning process here, and "alongside studies" is an unsuitable expression for this meaning.
Students are less concentrated and their understanding level drops in an environment like this.
Students are less focused and their level of understanding drops in such an environment.
"Focused" is the natural collocation for students, while "level of understanding" is the more precise noun phrase.
Furthermore, teachers also cannot give individual attention to each students because of limited class time.
Furthermore, teachers cannot give individual attention to each student because of limited class time.
After "each", use the singular noun "student"; "each" already expresses the individual meaning, so "also" is unnecessary.
How this answer could score higher
- Answer the evaluative part of the question more fully by explaining why smaller classes are more effective than the alternatives in "better teaching methods, teacher quality and developed materials," rather than merely listing those alternatives.
- Improve grammatical accuracy in frequent patterns such as "each students," "the attention ... are" and "potential good outcome"; use "each student," "teachers are less able to give individual attention" and "the potential to produce positive outcomes."
- Replace unnatural collocations such as "develop education" and "this issue can be erected" with "improve the quality of education" and "this problem can be addressed," while reducing repetition of "better" and "proper."
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