Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in other counties. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 6.5 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Task Response (7); Grammatical Range & Accuracy (6) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Expand the main supporting argument beyond "because they can make more money" by adding reasons such as better facilities, career development and improved living conditions.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 7 | The essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion that professionals should be free to work elsewhere, as stated in "I believe they should be free to work where they choose". The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples such as "junior doctors" and "petroleum engineers", although the personal argument is developed mainly through higher salaries rather than a broader discussion of professional freedom or global skills shortages. |
| Lexical Resource | 6 | The essay uses a reasonably varied range, including phrases such as "fully qualified", "global market for their skills" and "nationalistic considerations". However, several spelling and word-choice problems, including "dept", "counties" and "pass them the highest value", reduce precision and prevent a higher band. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 6 | The response demonstrates a useful range of complex structures, including the conditional sentence "If they were blocked from doing so, it would be a substantial financial disadvantage for the individual" and several relative clauses. Nevertheless, recurring errors in prepositions, agreement and possessives, such as "employed I the professions" and "a region that pass", show that grammatical control is not yet consistently secure. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 7 | The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, and its progression from the opposing view to the writer’s view is easy to follow through signals such as "On the one hand", "However" and "In conclusion". Cohesion is generally effective, although repeated patterns such as "This is because" and "this is why" make some links slightly mechanical. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
Whilst many think that professional workers owe a dept to the country they trained in
Whilst many think that professional workers owe a debt to the country they trained in
"Dept" is an abbreviation for department; the correct spelling of the noun meaning money owed is "debt".
Those employed I the professions are some of the world’s most highly skilled workers; therefore, they are in high demand.
Those employed in the professions are some of the world’s most highly skilled workers; therefore, they are in high demand.
The preposition "in" is required in the phrase "employed in the professions".
Those employed I the professions are some of the world’s most highly skilled workers
Those employed in the professions are some of the world’s most highly skilled workers
"I" is a spelling error here; the intended word is "in".
petroleum engineers can make hundreds of thousands of dollars more in oil-rich counties, such as Saudi Arabia
petroleum engineers can make hundreds of thousands of dollars more in oil-rich countries, such as Saudi Arabia
Saudi Arabia is a country, not a county, so "counties" is the wrong geographical term.
I agree that individual’s right to work wherever they please trumps any nationalistic considerations.
I agree that an individual’s right to work wherever they please trumps any nationalistic considerations.
A singular countable noun such as "individual" requires a determiner, so "an individual’s" is needed.
whether to repay that by working in their home state, or moving
whether to repay that by working in their home state or moving
A comma should not separate the two alternatives joined by the paired structure "whether ... or ...".
moving to a region that pass them the highest value for their skills
moving to a region that offers them the highest salaries for their skills
"Pass them the highest value" is not an idiomatic collocation; use "offers them the highest salaries" or "provides the greatest financial return".
a region that pass them the highest value for their skills
a region that passes them the highest value for their skills
The relative-clause subject "that" refers to the singular noun "region", so the verb must be "passes".
How this answer could score higher
- Expand the main supporting argument beyond "because they can make more money" by adding reasons such as better facilities, career development and improved living conditions.
- Proofread spelling and word choice carefully, especially "dept" to "debt" and "counties" to "countries", because these errors directly reduce lexical precision.
- Check grammar in every sentence for small but repeated errors, particularly "employed I the professions" → "employed in the professions" and "that pass them" → "that pays them".
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