Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individual people, because individuals can make little difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 6 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Task Response (6); Grammatical Range & Accuracy (5) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Increase grammatical accuracy by proofreading sentences such as "a environmental problem need to be solve" and correcting them to "an environmental problem needs to be solved"; check every article, agreement error and passive construction.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 6 | The position is clear in both "I partly agree" and the conclusion, and the response addresses the roles of politicians and individuals. However, the ideas are only partly developed: the explanation of why individual actions can make a meaningful collective difference remains limited, and the examples in "enhancing the price of fuel" and "burns disposable bags" are not fully analysed. |
| Lexical Resource | 6 | The response uses an adequate range of relevant vocabulary, including "environmental protection", "regulations", "natural resources" and "single-use bags". However, several collocation and word-choice problems, such as "a deeper discussion" and "enhancing the price of fuel", reduce precision and prevent a higher band. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 5 | The essay attempts a useful range of complex structures, including the concessive clause in "While some people argue ... I partly agree" and the conditional structure beginning "even if politicians make efforts". Nevertheless, grammatical errors are frequent in articles, agreement, passive forms and sentence construction, as shown by "a environmental problem need to be solve" and "people’s contribution ... are". |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 6 | The essay has a clear four-paragraph structure, with "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" guiding the two main viewpoints. Ideas generally progress logically, but connectors such as "As a result" are repeated and some sentences, including "It means that the politicians should have more responsibilities", do not link the explanation as precisely as they could. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
politicians should be responsible to address this issue
politicians should be responsible for addressing this issue
The adjective "responsible" is followed by "for" and a gerund when describing a duty.
people can not make a significant impact on it
people cannot make a significant impact on it
In this context, the standard spelling of the negative modal is the single word "cannot".
it also should be supported by individuals
environmental protection should also be supported by individuals
The pronoun has an unclear reference, and the natural position of "also" is after the modal verb.
people who work in authorities
people in positions of authority
"Work in authorities" is not the natural collocation; people hold positions in, or work for, authorities.
the politicians should have more responsibilities
politicians should have more responsibilities
A plural noun referring to politicians in general does not normally take the definite article.
the various policies about the environment will be built by them
the various environmental policies will be formulated by them
Policies are normally described as environmental policies and are formulated or developed, not built.
a environmental problem
an environmental problem
Use "an" before a vowel sound, as in "environmental".
problem need to be solve
problem needs to be solved
The singular subject "problem" requires "needs", and a passive construction requires the past participle "solved".
How this answer could score higher
- Increase grammatical accuracy by proofreading sentences such as "a environmental problem need to be solve" and correcting them to "an environmental problem needs to be solved"; check every article, agreement error and passive construction.
- Fully develop the response to "individuals can make little difference" by explaining the cumulative effect of individual behaviour and consumer pressure, not merely stating that public contribution is "essential".
- Use more precise environmental collocations, replacing "enhancing the price of fuel" with "increasing fuel prices" and "adopt green lifestyle" with "adopt environmentally friendly lifestyles".
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