Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 6.5 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Lexical Resource (7); Grammatical Range & Accuracy (6) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Fully develop the economic importance of cinemas by explaining their contribution to employment, tax revenue, film production and surrounding businesses, rather than discussing only the lower price of Netflix.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 6 | The response addresses both the popularity of online streaming and the cultural importance of cinemas, as shown by the discussion of streaming being "more practical and convenient" and cinemas being a "social hub". However, the economic argument for theatres and cinemas is not fully developed, and the position "I personally agree with both views" is clear but somewhat simplistic rather than being supported by a balanced explanation. |
| Lexical Resource | 7 | The response uses a reasonably wide range of topic vocabulary, including "online streaming", "subscription basis", "color reproduction", "cultural preservation" and "moviegoers". Some collocations and register choices are less precise, particularly "consume media", "the cherry on top" and "offers interactivity", preventing consistently natural, flexible expression. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 6 | The essay demonstrates a useful range of complex structures, including conditionals in "When convenience is of the essence, streaming could be the answer" and subordinate clauses beginning with "Although" and "which". However, noticeable errors and awkward constructions occur throughout, including "Netflix, a widely popular streaming platform provides" and "what the director has intended", so accuracy is not consistently at Band 7 level. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 7 | The essay is logically organised into an introduction, separate discussion of streaming and cinema-related benefits, and a conclusion, with a generally clear progression from convenience to cultural experience. Cohesive devices such as "Additionally", "Although", and "On the other hand" are used effectively overall, although some repetition and the fragment "From their phones, television, and even computers" interrupt smooth flow. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
But, I do agree that cinemas are still important.
But I do agree that cinemas are still important.
A comma is not normally used after the coordinating conjunction "But" when it begins a sentence.
Netflix, a widely popular streaming platform provides a variety of different movies and shows to choose from.
Netflix, a widely popular streaming platform, provides a variety of different movies and shows to choose from.
A non-defining appositive must be enclosed by commas.
From their phones, television, and even computers.
They can do so from their phones, televisions, and even computers.
This is a sentence fragment because it has no finite verb or subject; a complete clause is required.
the cherry on top is the business model of streaming platforms.
an additional advantage is the business model of streaming platforms.
“The cherry on top” is an overly informal idiom for an academic essay; use a formal expression such as “an additional advantage”.
Viewing on other kinds of screen may not give a fully accurate representation of what the director has intended.
Viewing on other kinds of screens may not give a fully accurate representation of what the director has intended.
After the plural expression "other kinds of", the following countable noun should also be plural.
In India, movie theaters are more than just a place where people go to watch movies.
In India, movie theaters are more than just places where people go to watch movies.
The plural subject "movie theaters" requires the plural complement "places".
It is a social hub where people get to interact with each other and talk about their movie experiences.
They are social hubs where people get to interact with each other and talk about their movie experiences.
The pronoun and complement must agree with the plural antecedent "movie theaters".
Online streaming means that these forms of interactions are eliminated which affects the cultural preservation of films.
Online streaming means that these forms of interaction are eliminated, which affects the cultural preservation of films.
A comma is needed before the non-defining relative clause beginning with "which".
How this answer could score higher
- Fully develop the economic importance of cinemas by explaining their contribution to employment, tax revenue, film production and surrounding businesses, rather than discussing only the lower price of Netflix.
- Improve grammatical accuracy in recurring problem areas: add commas around appositives, remove fragments such as "From their phones...", and check subject-verb agreement in sentences such as "movie theaters ... It is".
- Use more natural and appropriately formal collocations: replace "consume media", "the cherry on top" and "offers interactivity" with "watch films", "a further advantage" and "provides a shared social experience".
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