Some people think that computers and the internet are more important for a child’s education than going to school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 5 on the four official criteria. All four criteria were marked at 5. The biggest single improvement: Write a clear thesis and conclusion that directly answer the extent question; use a position such as "I disagree that computers are more important than schools, although they are valuable supplementary tools."
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 5 | The essay addresses both computers and the internet and schools, but the extent of agreement is not clearly stated in the introduction and the position is not fully developed. The ideas about online learning, harmful content and school-based development are relevant, but explanations and supporting examples are limited, and there is no conclusion. |
| Lexical Resource | 5 | The essay attempts a reasonably broad range, including terms such as "search engines", "globalised", "civic sense" and "punctuality", but frequent spelling errors, imprecise word choices and unnatural collocations reduce precision. Some expressions, including "limited to none information" and "parent like role", are difficult to interpret naturally. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 5 | There is some use of complex sentence construction, but grammatical errors are frequent in articles, agreement, clause structure and sentence boundaries. Examples such as "a child can learn ... and are limited" and "Schools can never be replaced for any other models" show that errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 5 | The response has a generally recognisable structure, moving from the benefits of technology to its dangers and then to the role of schools. However, progression within sentences is often unclear, as in "just scrolling through these softwares and are limited to none information", and the absence of a conclusion weakens the overall organisation. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
In todays technological world, there are thousands of websites, AI models and search engines with all kinds of information and the ability to perform all kinds of tasks which are ultimately accessible by kids.
In today's technological world, there are thousands of websites, AI models and search engines with all kinds of information and the ability to perform all kinds of tasks which are ultimately accessible by kids.
The possessive form of 'today' requires an apostrophe: 'today's'.
In todays technological world
In today's technological world
The possessive form of 'today' requires an apostrophe.
In the current times, a child can learn so many things through social media just scrolling through these softwares and are limited to none information since they can just search about things and are available to all kinds of information regarding that topic.
In the current times, a child can learn many things through social media by simply scrolling through this software and is not limited to any information, since the child can search for things and has access to all kinds of information regarding that topic.
The singular subject 'a child' requires 'is', and the sentence needs consistent pronoun reference and correctly constructed prepositional phrases.
In the current times
Nowadays
'In the current times' is an unnatural collocation; 'nowadays' is the standard expression.
through social media just scrolling through these softwares
by scrolling through social media platforms
'Scrolling through software' is an incorrect collocation, whereas people scroll through social media platforms.
are limited to none information
have access to virtually unlimited information
The intended meaning is that children can access a very large amount of information, not that their access is limited to none.
search about things
search for information
The usual collocation is 'search for information' rather than 'search about things'.
are available to all kinds of information regarding that topic
have access to all kinds of information about that topic
'Have access to information' is the appropriate expression for being able to obtain information.
How this answer could score higher
- Write a clear thesis and conclusion that directly answer the extent question; use a position such as "I disagree that computers are more important than schools, although they are valuable supplementary tools."
- Improve grammatical accuracy by checking agreement, articles and sentence boundaries, especially in "a child ... are limited" and "its essential", and by splitting long, crowded sentences.
- Use accurate academic collocations and spelling: replace "limited to none information", "softwares" and "parent like role" with "almost unlimited information", "digital platforms" and "a supportive parental role".
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