HealthProblem–Solution
IELTS Essay: Rising Obesity Levels (Band 9 vs 6.5)
In short
Below is a full Band 9 model answer to this IELTS Writing Task 2 question, the same question written at Band 6.5, and a criterion-by-criterion breakdown of exactly what separates them — so you can see what to change in your own writing. Then check your essay with the free tool.
The question
In many countries, levels of obesity are rising, particularly among young people. What are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to address it?
How to approach a Problem–Solution question
A problem/solution question needs realistic causes or problems in one body paragraph and directly matching solutions in the other. Keep the two linked — each solution should address a problem you actually raised — and be specific: vague answers like 'the government should do more' score poorly compared with concrete, plausible measures.
The plan
- 01Introduction: paraphrase the rising-obesity topic and signal that the essay covers the causes and then the solutions.
- 02Body 1 (causes): the abundance of cheap, heavily marketed calorie-dense food and the decline of everyday physical activity.
- 03Body 2 (solutions): sugar taxes and advertising limits, cookery and exercise in schools, and activity-friendly urban design.
- 04Conclusion: summarise the two causes and call for a coordinated fiscal, educational and planning response.
Band 9 model answer
Obesity rates have climbed sharply across much of the world in recent decades, with children and teenagers increasingly affected. The consequences, from diabetes to shortened life expectancy, make understanding this shift a matter of real urgency. This essay will examine the principal drivers of the trend before suggesting how governments and individuals might reverse it.
Two factors lie at the heart of the problem. The first is the sheer availability of cheap, calorie-dense food. Ultra-processed snacks and sugary drinks are aggressively marketed, heavily discounted and engineered to be irresistible, so they steadily crowd out healthier options in the average diet. The second cause is the collapse of everyday physical activity. Where children once walked to school and played outdoors for hours, many now spend their leisure time in front of screens, burning far fewer calories than previous generations while consuming considerably more.
Tackling a problem with such deep roots demands action on several fronts. Governments could curb consumption by taxing sugary products and restricting the advertising of junk food to minors, policies that have already shown promising results in some nations. Equally important is prevention through education: teaching young people to cook simple, nutritious meals and building compulsory physical activity into the school day would instil healthier habits early. Finally, designing towns with parks, cycle lanes and safe pavements would make an active lifestyle the convenient default rather than a deliberate effort.
In conclusion, rising obesity stems largely from an abundance of unhealthy food combined with ever more sedentary routines. A coordinated response that blends fiscal measures, sustained education and thoughtful urban planning offers the most realistic prospect of reversing this worrying trend.
The same question at Band 6.5
In these days, more and more people become fat, especially the young people. This is a serious problem in many country. In this essay I will discuss the causes of this problem and also give some solutions to solve it.
There are many reason for obesity. The first reason is that people eat too much unhealthy food like fast food, burger and soft drink. This food have a lot of sugar and fat, but it is cheap and delicious, so people like to eat it. The second reason is that people don't do enough exercise. Nowadays many young people spend a lot of time to play video games and watch phone, so they don't move their body and they become fat. Also, the advertisement on television make children want to eat this kind of food.
There are some solutions for this problem. Firstly, the government should put more tax on unhealthy food so people will buy it less. Also they can make advertisement about healthy food. Secondly, schools should give more sport class so children can do exercise everyday. In addition, parents should cook healthy food at home and not give too much junk food to their children. The government can also build more park and sport center so people are able to do exercise for free.
In conclusion, obesity is happen because people eat unhealthy food and don't do exercise. To solve this problem, the government, schools and parents should work together. If everybody make effort, I think the level of obesity will go down in the future.
What separates them, criterion by criterion
| Criterion | Band 9 | Band 6.5 |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | Fully addresses both parts, developing two clear causes and matching solutions (e.g. taxing sugary products answers the cheap-food cause) with specific detail. | Covers causes and solutions as the task asks, but each idea stays general and listed rather than explained in depth. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | Signposts flexibly ('Two factors lie at the heart...', 'Equally important...', 'Finally...') so ideas flow rather than stack. | Uses formulaic markers ('The first reason', 'Secondly', 'In addition') and lists points mechanically. |
| Lexical Resource | Draws on flexible collocation such as 'calorie-dense food', 'crowd out healthier options' and 'sedentary routines'. | Adequate but repetitive, reusing 'unhealthy food', 'do exercise' and 'become fat'. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | Controls complex structures, e.g. 'Where children once walked to school and played outdoors for hours, many now spend...'. | Simple and compound sentences dominate, with errors that do not block meaning ('obesity is happen', 'This food have', 'many country'). |
Examiner's note
The Band 9 essay separates causes and solutions cleanly, develops each with concrete detail, and draws on flexible collocation such as 'calorie-dense food' and 'crowd out healthier options'. The Band 6.5 answer addresses the whole task but lists its ideas mechanically, repeats 'unhealthy food' and 'do exercise', and contains slips such as 'obesity is happen' and 'many country' that keep it at a modest band.
Vocabulary from the Band 9 answer
| Word / phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| calorie-dense food | food that contains a large number of calories in a small portion |
| ultra-processed | made mostly from industrial ingredients rather than whole foods |
| crowd out | push aside or replace something so there is no room for it |
| sedentary routines | daily habits that involve a lot of sitting and little movement |
| curb consumption | reduce how much of something is eaten or used |
| instil healthier habits | gradually establish good behaviours in someone |
| the convenient default | the easiest option that people take without having to think about it |
| a coordinated response | action taken together in an organised, joined-up way |
Frequently asked questions
Should I write about causes and solutions in the same paragraph?
No. It is clearer to devote one body paragraph to causes and one to solutions, so the examiner can see each part of the task addressed separately.
How many causes and solutions do I need?
Two well-explained points in each paragraph is usually stronger than a long list of undeveloped ideas. Depth beats quantity.
Do my solutions have to match my causes?
They do not have to line up one-to-one, but linking at least some solutions directly to the causes you raised makes the essay feel more logical and coherent.