IELTS Essay: Sharing Childcare Equally (Band 9 vs 6.5)
In short
Below is a full Band 9 model answer to this IELTS Writing Task 2 question, the same question written at Band 6.5, and a criterion-by-criterion breakdown of exactly what separates them — so you can see what to change in your own writing. Then check your essay with the free tool.
The question
Some people think that both parents should share the responsibility of raising children equally, while others believe that mothers are naturally better suited to this role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
How to approach a Discussion (Both Views + Opinion) question
A discussion question asks you to do two distinct things: present both views fairly, and give your own opinion. Devote one body paragraph to each view, then make sure your position is clear — either woven through or stated plainly in the conclusion. The classic mistake is discussing both sides but forgetting to give an opinion at all, which directly costs Task Response marks.
The plan
- 01Introduction: paraphrase the debate and preview both views plus a clear opinion favouring equal sharing.
- 02Body 1: the traditional view - biology and culture make mothers seem better suited.
- 03Body 2: the equal-sharing view and my opinion - parenting is a learnable skill that benefits everyone.
- 04Conclusion: acknowledge tradition but affirm that shared childcare is fairer and better for the family.
Band 9 model answer
Opinions differ as to whether the burden of raising children ought to fall equally on both parents, or whether mothers are inherently better equipped for the task. While the traditional argument carries some biological weight, I am firmly persuaded that childcare is a shared responsibility that both parents can discharge equally well.
Those who favour the mother taking the lead often point to biology. During pregnancy and breastfeeding, mothers form an early physiological bond that fathers cannot replicate, and some argue this predisposes women to be more attuned to an infant's needs. Cultural expectations reinforce this: in many societies mothers are socialised from childhood to nurture, so they may simply have more practice at reading a baby's cues and soothing distress. From this standpoint, dividing care rigidly down the middle can feel artificial and even counterproductive.
Nevertheless, I find the case for equal sharing far more compelling. The supposedly 'natural' maternal advantage is largely learned rather than innate; fathers who are given the chance quickly become just as competent at feeding, comforting and disciplining. Crucially, shared parenting benefits everyone involved - mothers can pursue careers without penalty, fathers build deeper relationships with their children, and children themselves gain two equally engaged role models. What a child needs is consistent, loving attention, and there is no reason this must come predominantly from one parent.
In conclusion, while biological and cultural factors explain why mothers have traditionally dominated childcare, I believe parenting is a skill both partners can master. Sharing it equally is not only fair but demonstrably better for the whole family.
The same question at Band 6.5
There is a debate about who should take care of the children in the family. Some people believe that both mother and father should do it equally, but other people think that the mother is more suitable for this job. In this essay I will discuss both sides and give my own opinion.
On one hand, some people think the mother is better for taking care of children. This is because the mother give birth to the baby, so she has a strong connection with the child from the beginning. Also, in many culture, women learn how to look after babies when they are young, so they have more experience. For this reason, people think it is more natural for the mother to do most of the childcare.
On the other hand, many people believe that both parents should share the responsibility equally. The father can also feed, wash and play with the child, and he can learn these things same as the mother. Moreover, when both parents share the work, the mother can also go to her job and the father can spend more time with his children. So the whole family is more happy and balanced.
In conclusion, there are arguments for both sides, but in my opinion both parents should share the childcare equally. I think the father is able to do the same things like the mother, and it is more fair for everybody in the family. Both of them are the parents of the child, so they should take the same responsibility together.
What separates them, criterion by criterion
| Criterion | Band 9 | Band 6.5 |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | Discusses both views fairly and gives a clear, developed opinion - 'firmly persuaded that childcare is a shared responsibility'. | Covers both sides and states an opinion, but each view is supported with only general, thinly explained points. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | Smooth transitions ('Nevertheless', 'Crucially') and a logical progression from the traditional view to a reasoned opinion. | Formulaic linking ('On one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', 'So') marks the structure but ideas are simply listed. |
| Lexical Resource | Flexible, topic-specific language: 'inherently better equipped', 'physiological bond', 'attuned to an infant's needs'. | Simple, repeated vocabulary - 'take care of', 'the mother' and 'children' recur throughout. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | Confident use of complex structures, conditionals and parenthetical dashes with very few errors. | Basic sentences with slips such as 'the mother give birth', 'in many culture' and 'same as the mother'. |
Examiner's note
The Band 9 essay discusses both views fairly, commits to a clear opinion, and shows flexible, accurate language throughout, so it satisfies every criterion at the top level. The Band 6.5 covers the same ground but lists rather than develops ideas, leans on formulaic linkers, and contains repeated grammar errors that keep it comfortably below band 7.
Vocabulary from the Band 9 answer
| Word / phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| the burden of raising children | the demanding responsibility of bringing up children |
| inherently better equipped | naturally more suited or able by nature |
| carries some biological weight | has a degree of validity based on biology |
| firmly persuaded | strongly convinced |
| discharge equally well | carry out a duty just as effectively |
| physiological bond | a physical, bodily connection |
| attuned to an infant's needs | sensitive and responsive to a baby's needs |
| consistent, loving attention | steady, caring focus given to a child |
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to give my own opinion in a discussion essay?
Yes. Whenever the prompt says 'give your own opinion' you must state a clear view, ideally in both the introduction and conclusion. Discussing both sides without committing limits your Task Response score.
Should I spend equal time on both views?
Cover both views fairly so neither is ignored, but it is fine to develop the side you agree with a little more, which also helps you justify your opinion.
Can my opinion be a compromise between the two views?
Yes, but it must be a definite stance (for example, 'I mostly support equal sharing'), not vague fence-sitting. A clear, reasoned position scores better than an ambiguous one.