EducationProblem–Solution
IELTS Essay: University Dropout Rates (Band 9 vs 6.5)
In short
Below is a full Band 9 model answer to this IELTS Writing Task 2 question, the same question written at Band 6.5, and a criterion-by-criterion breakdown of exactly what separates them — so you can see what to change in your own writing. Then check your essay with the free tool.
The question
In many countries, a significant number of students fail to complete their university degrees and drop out before graduating. What are the reasons for this, and what measures could be taken to address the problem?
How to approach a Problem–Solution question
A problem/solution question needs realistic causes or problems in one body paragraph and directly matching solutions in the other. Keep the two linked — each solution should address a problem you actually raised — and be specific: vague answers like 'the government should do more' score poorly compared with concrete, plausible measures.
The plan
- 01Introduction: introduce rising university dropout rates and preview the causes and remedies to follow.
- 02Body 1 (causes): financial pressure, poorly informed course choice and social isolation.
- 03Body 2 (solutions): means-tested funding and flexible study, pre-enrolment counselling and mentoring schemes.
- 04Conclusion: restate the main causes and the matching solutions as a credible way forward.
Band 9 model answer
University campuses across the world are witnessing a troubling number of students abandon their courses long before graduation day, a trend that alarms educators and policymakers alike. This essay will explore the principal causes of this attrition and propose realistic remedies that institutions and governments might adopt.
Several factors lie behind rising dropout rates. Financial pressure is perhaps the most acute: many undergraduates juggle demanding part-time jobs to cover tuition and living costs, and the resulting exhaustion erodes their academic performance until continuing feels pointless. A second, less visible driver is poor course choice. Teenagers frequently enrol in subjects they scarcely understand, swayed by parental expectation or vague notions of prestige, only to discover a mismatch between the syllabus and their genuine interests. Isolation compounds both problems, as students who fail to forge a sense of belonging quietly disengage, often within the very first year.
Addressing this attrition demands intervention on several fronts. Universities could expand means-tested bursaries and flexible, part-time study routes so that money is no longer the deciding factor in whether a young person perseveres. Equally, more rigorous pre-enrolment counselling would help applicants align their degree with their aptitudes, sharply reducing the disillusionment that fuels withdrawal. Finally, robust mentoring schemes that pair newcomers with senior students can dismantle the isolation that so often precedes a decision to leave.
In short, dropping out stems chiefly from financial strain, ill-informed course selection and social isolation. Targeted funding, honest guidance and structured mentoring together offer a credible path towards keeping more students enrolled until they graduate, provided they are implemented with genuine commitment.
The same question at Band 6.5
These days many students go to university but they do not finish their degree and they leave early. This is a serious problem in a lot of countries. In this essay I will explain the reasons of this problem and I will suggest some solutions.
There are many reasons why students drop out. Firstly, money is a big problem. University is very expensive and some students must work part-time job to pay the fee. Because they work too much, they don't have enough time for study and they fail the exams. Secondly, some students choose a wrong subject. They pick the course because their parents want it, but they are not interested, so they lose the motivation after some months. In addition, many students feel very lonely because they are far from their family, and this make them unhappy and they want to give up.
There are some solutions for this problem. Firstly, the government should give more money and scholarship to poor students so they don't need to work all the time. This will help them to focus on their study. Secondly, universities should give a good advice to students before they choose the subject. If students know more about the course, they will choose better. Also, teachers can help the new students to feel comfortable and make friends.
In conclusion, students drop out because of money problems and wrong subject choice. If the government and universities give more support and better advice, less students will leave and more of them will finish the degree successfully.
What separates them, criterion by criterion
| Criterion | Band 9 | Band 6.5 |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | Identifies clear, distinct causes (financial pressure, poor course choice, isolation) and matches each with a targeted solution. | Names real causes and solutions but leaves them general, e.g. 'money is a big problem', without developing the mechanism behind them. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | Ideas link through meaning ('Isolation compounds both problems', 'Addressing this attrition demands intervention on several fronts'). | Leans on 'Firstly', 'Secondly' and 'Also' to list points rather than genuinely connecting them. |
| Lexical Resource | Precise topic collocations: 'means-tested bursaries', 'pre-enrolment counselling', 'the disillusionment that fuels withdrawal'. | Repeats 'problem', 'give' and 'money' and stays with everyday, high-frequency words. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | Varied, accurate complex sentences, e.g. 'students who fail to forge a sense of belonging quietly disengage'. | Simple structures with errors such as 'work part-time job', 'give a good advice' and 'less students'. |
Examiner's note
The Band 9 answer pairs sharply defined causes with realistic, matching solutions and expresses them through precise vocabulary and controlled complex grammar. The Band 6.5 response is relevant and easy to follow, but its ideas stay at surface level, its linking is mechanical, and repeated lexis and grammar errors such as 'give a good advice' hold it back.
Vocabulary from the Band 9 answer
| Word / phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| attrition | the steady loss of students or members over time |
| juggle demanding part-time jobs | manage several difficult jobs alongside study |
| erodes their academic performance | gradually damages how well they do in their studies |
| a mismatch between the syllabus and their interests | a poor fit between the course content and what a student enjoys |
| means-tested bursaries | grants awarded according to a student's financial need |
| align their degree with their aptitudes | match their course to their natural abilities |
| the disillusionment that fuels withdrawal | the loss of motivation that drives students to quit |
| robust mentoring schemes | strong, well-run programmes that pair students with experienced guides |
Frequently asked questions
How do I structure a problem-and-solution essay?
The clearest approach is one body paragraph on the causes or problems and a second on the solutions, with each solution ideally answering a problem you raised. Keep the two paragraphs balanced so neither the analysis nor the remedies feel rushed.
Should I write about causes or problems?
Read the prompt carefully. If it asks for reasons or causes, explain why the situation happens; if it asks for problems, describe the negative effects. Answering the wrong one lowers your Task Response score even when the writing is strong.
How many solutions should I include?
Two well-developed solutions usually score higher than a long list of undeveloped ones. For each, explain what should be done, who should do it, and why it would work.