IELTS Essay: Traditional Festivals Disappearing or Adapting (Band 9 vs 6.5)
In short
Below is a full Band 9 model answer to this IELTS Writing Task 2 question, the same question written at Band 6.5, and a criterion-by-criterion breakdown of exactly what separates them — so you can see what to change in your own writing. Then check your essay with the free tool.
The question
Some people believe that traditional festivals are gradually disappearing, while others argue that they are simply changing to suit modern life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
How to approach a Discussion (Both Views + Opinion) question
A discussion question asks you to do two distinct things: present both views fairly, and give your own opinion. Devote one body paragraph to each view, then make sure your position is clear — either woven through or stated plainly in the conclusion. The classic mistake is discussing both sides but forgetting to give an opinion at all, which directly costs Task Response marks.
The plan
- 01Introduction: outline the disappearing-versus-adapting debate and state the view that festivals are adapting.
- 02Body 1: the disappearance view — secular, time-poor lives and commercialization strip rituals of meaning.
- 03Body 2: the adaptation view (my opinion) — festivals move online and evolve while keeping their communal purpose.
- 04Conclusion: some rituals fade, but festivals are being reinvented rather than lost.
Band 9 model answer
Whether age-old festivals are quietly dying out or merely reinventing themselves is a matter of genuine debate. Some observers point to fading rituals as evidence of decline, whereas others see the same festivals shedding old forms and acquiring new ones. My own view is that adaptation, rather than disappearance, best describes what is happening, even if the change is not always comfortable.
Those who fear that festivals are vanishing can marshal persuasive evidence. In increasingly secular, time-poor societies, many people no longer observe the religious or agricultural rituals from which such celebrations originally sprang, treating a solemn holy day as little more than a long weekend. Commercial interests compound the problem, repackaging festivals as shopping opportunities until their spiritual core is all but forgotten. Seen from this angle, what survives is a diluted echo of a once-meaningful occasion.
The opposing camp, with which I align, argues that festivals are not dying but evolving. Traditions have always been fluid, absorbing whatever the age offers, and today they are migrating online, uniting scattered diaspora communities through live-streamed ceremonies and reaching audiences their founders could never have imagined. A harvest festival may now feature social-media contests alongside its ancient dances, yet the underlying impulse — to gather, mark time and reaffirm a shared identity — remains firmly intact. Change of this kind signals vitality, not decay.
In conclusion, although certain rituals undeniably fall into disuse, the festivals themselves are proving remarkably adaptable and continue to serve the communities that hold them. I therefore believe they are being reinvented for a new era rather than allowed to disappear.
The same question at Band 6.5
Traditional festivals is an important part of every society. Some people believe that these festivals are disappearing day by day, but other people think that they are only changing according to the modern time. In this essay I will discuss both opinions and give my own view.
On one hand, some people think festivals are disappearing. This is because nowadays people are very busy with their job and they do not have enough time to celebrate like before. For example, in the past whole family gather together for many days, but now they just have one holiday and go shopping. Also the young generation is not interested in the old customs and they prefer to spend time on their phone. So because of these reasons the real meaning of festivals is becoming less.
On the other hand, many people believe festivals are not disappearing but just adapting to the new life. For example, now people celebrate festivals on social media and they can share the moment with their relatives who live in abroad. Even if some old traditions are changed, the main purpose which is to bring people together is still same. I agree more with this second opinion because I can see many festivals are still popular in a new way.
In conclusion, although some old customs are disappearing, I think traditional festivals are mostly adapting to modern life. If people keep celebrating them, even in a different way from the past, these festivals will not disappear completely from our society.
What separates them, criterion by criterion
| Criterion | Band 9 | Band 6.5 |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | Presents both views fully and states a clear opinion ('adaptation, rather than disappearance, best describes what is happening'), developing each side with reasoning. | Covers both views and gives an opinion, but ideas stay general, e.g. 'the real meaning of festivals is becoming less' with little support. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | Signposts naturally and variously ('Seen from this angle', 'The opposing camp, with which I align', 'yet the underlying impulse'). | Uses mechanical linking ('On one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Also', 'For example') and lists points. |
| Lexical Resource | Precise, flexible collocation such as 'marshal persuasive evidence', 'a diluted echo' and 'migrating online'. | Adequate but repetitive high-frequency vocabulary — 'disappearing', 'people' and 'festivals' recur throughout. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | Wide range of accurate complex structures, including relative clauses ('from which such celebrations originally sprang') and non-finite phrasing ('treating a solemn holy day as...'). | Mostly simple and compound sentences with noticeable errors ('festivals is', 'live in abroad', 'is still same'). |
Examiner's note
Both essays cover the two views and offer an opinion, but the Band 9 develops each side with real reasoning and states its stance unmistakably ('adaptation, rather than disappearance'), while the 6.5 stays at the level of general assertion. The stronger script signposts naturally ('Seen from this angle', 'The opposing camp, with which I align') rather than with mechanical 'On one hand / On the other hand', and deploys precise phrases such as 'a diluted echo' and 'marshal persuasive evidence'. Its grammar is varied and controlled, unlike the 6.5's 'festivals is' and 'live in abroad'.
Vocabulary from the Band 9 answer
| Word / phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| dying out | gradually disappearing |
| reinventing themselves | changing form in order to stay relevant |
| marshal persuasive evidence | to gather and present convincing proof |
| time-poor societies | communities in which people have very little free time |
| a diluted echo | a weakened, less meaningful version of something |
| migrating online | moving onto the internet |
| the underlying impulse | the basic motivation behind an action |
| signals vitality, not decay | shows life and energy rather than decline |
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to give my own opinion in a discussion essay?
Yes. 'Discuss both views and give your opinion' requires a clear personal stance; state it in the introduction and make sure the conclusion matches it.
How should I organise a discussion essay?
The simplest reliable plan is one body paragraph per view; attach your opinion to the side you favour or, as here, weave it into the second body paragraph and restate it in the conclusion.
Should I spend equal time on both views?
Roughly, yes — examiners want both sides addressed properly, but it is fine to develop the view you agree with slightly more, provided the opposing view is still explained fairly.