Society & AgeingTwo-part
IELTS Essay: Why Is the Population Ageing? Positive or Negative? (Band 9 vs 6.5)
In short
Below is a full Band 9 model answer to this IELTS Writing Task 2 question, the same question written at Band 6.5, and a criterion-by-criterion breakdown of exactly what separates them — so you can see what to change in your own writing. Then check your essay with the free tool.
The question
In many countries, the proportion of older people in the population is steadily increasing. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or a negative development?
How to approach a Two-part question
A two-part question contains two direct questions; you must answer both, and roughly equally. Plan one body paragraph per question so neither is neglected — writing 200 words on the first part and 50 on the second is a common way to lose Task Response marks even when the English is strong.
The plan
- 01Introduction — paraphrase the statement about the rising proportion of older people, briefly flag the two main causes (better healthcare, lower birth rates), and state your overall view on whether the trend is positive or negative.
- 02Body 1 (Why is it happening?) — explain the causes: longer life expectancy driven by medical and living-standard improvements, and falling birth rates as careers and the cost of raising children reshape family choices.
- 03Body 2 (Positive or negative?) — argue your evaluation with developed reasons, then include a genuine concession (rising pension and healthcare costs on a smaller workforce) and rebut it with sensible policy responses.
- 04Conclusion — restate both causes in a single line and reaffirm your positive/negative judgement without introducing any new ideas.
Band 9 model answer
The demographic shift towards an older population is now a defining feature of many societies. This trend stems chiefly from advances in healthcare and declining birth rates, and while it undeniably strains public finances, I regard it, on balance, as a positive reflection of human progress.
Two forces largely account for the greying of populations. First, medical breakthroughs and improved living standards have dramatically extended life expectancy, so people now routinely live well into their eighties. Second, birth rates have fallen sharply, particularly in wealthier nations, as women pursue careers and the cost of raising children climbs. With fewer babies being born and the elderly living longer, the average age of the population inevitably rises.
To my mind, this development should be welcomed rather than feared. That so many people now enjoy long, healthy retirements is a triumph of modern medicine and something previous generations could scarcely have imagined. Moreover, older citizens are far from a passive burden: many continue working, volunteer in their communities, and provide childcare that allows younger parents to remain economically active. In this sense, the wisdom and experience of older generations enrich society in ways that are easily overlooked.
Admittedly, an ageing society poses genuine challenges, notably the mounting cost of pensions and healthcare falling on a shrinking workforce. Yet these pressures can be eased through sensible policy, such as gradually raising the retirement age, encouraging later-life employment, and welcoming skilled migrants to bolster the labour force.
In conclusion, the ageing of the population arises from longer lifespans and falling birth rates. Although it demands careful management, I firmly believe it represents an achievement to be celebrated, not a crisis to be lamented.
The same question at Band 6.5
Nowadays, in many countries the number of old people is increasing more and more. There are some reasons for this happening and I think it is more a negative development for the society.
Firstly, one reason is that medicine is better now. People can go to hospital and doctors can cure many diseases, so people live longer than before. In the past, many people died young because of diseases, but now this is not common. Also, another reason is that families have less children now. Many people are busy with their job and having a baby is very expensive, so they don't want big family.
In addition, I think there are some problems with this development. When there are many old people, the government must spend a lot of money on pensions and health care. This is a big problem because young people must pay more tax. Also, old people sometimes need someone to take care of them, and this is difficult for their family. They cannot go to work and take care of old people at the same time.
However, it is not all bad. Old people have a lot of experience and they can give good advice to young generation. Also, some old people still work and help their family with money. In conclusion, the population is getting older because of better medicine and fewer babies, and even though it has some good points, I believe it brings more problems for the country.
What separates them, criterion by criterion
| Criterion | Band 9 | Band 6.5 |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | Answers both parts of the two-part question fully. It gives two clearly explained causes (medical advances and falling birth rates) and commits to a firm, nuanced position ('a positive reflection of human progress'), even conceding the pension pressure before rebutting it with policy fixes. | Both parts are addressed but thinly. Causes are asserted, not explained ('medicine is better now'), and the position wavers between 'more a negative development' and 'it is not all bad', so the stance is only partly clear. Ideas are stated rather than developed. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | Cohesion is unobtrusive and logical: markers such as 'First', 'Second', 'Moreover', 'Admittedly' and 'In this sense' signal the argument's direction, and each paragraph builds one central idea rather than listing points. | Relies on mechanical, repetitive linkers — 'Firstly', 'Also', 'In addition', 'However', 'In conclusion' — and misuses one: 'In addition' opens the problems paragraph, which is a shift, not an addition. Organisation is clear but formulaic. |
| Lexical Resource | Precise, natural collocation and topic vocabulary: 'life expectancy', 'the greying of populations', 'a passive burden', 'mounting cost', 'a shrinking workforce'. | Leans on repetitive high-frequency words — 'good' (good advice, good points), 'a lot of money/experience', 'big problem', 'big family', 'very expensive'. The meaning is clear but the range and precision are limited. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | A wide range of complex structures used accurately, including a noun clause ('That so many people now enjoy... is a triumph') and a participle clause ('With fewer babies being born...'), with controlled subordination throughout. | Mostly simple and compound sentences joined by 'and' and 'so', with few complex forms. Minor slips appear — 'less children' (should be 'fewer children'), 'don't want big family' (missing 'a'), 'advice to young generation' (missing 'the') — but none block understanding. |
Examiner's note
The Band 9 answer wins on every criterion because it does more than mention ideas — it explains and connects them. On Task Response it fully satisfies both halves of the question, offering two well-developed causes and a firm yet nuanced verdict that even concedes and rebuts the pension objection. Its cohesion is invisible and logical, its collocations ('life expectancy', 'a shrinking workforce') are precise, and its grammar ranges confidently across noun and participle clauses. The Band 6.5 script is competent and on-topic, and the reader never loses the thread, but it hits a ceiling: causes are asserted rather than developed, the position drifts between 'negative' and 'not all bad', linkers are mechanical, vocabulary leans on 'good', 'big problem' and 'a lot', and small slips like 'less children' and 'don't want big family' mark the limits of its control. It communicates clearly; it simply cannot show the range and precision that lift an answer to Band 8 or 9.
Vocabulary from the Band 9 answer
| Word / phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| demographic shift | a change in the make-up of a population, such as its average age |
| the greying of populations | populations becoming older on average over time |
| life expectancy | the average number of years a person is expected to live |
| birth rates | the number of babies born relative to the size of the population |
| a passive burden | something that only takes from society and gives nothing back |
| a triumph of modern medicine | a great success brought about by advances in healthcare |
| mounting cost | an expense that keeps rising |
| a shrinking workforce | a falling number of working-age people |
| on balance | after weighing up all the arguments |
Frequently asked questions
How do I answer a two-part IELTS question like this one?
You must answer both parts fully. Here that means explaining why the population is ageing and judging whether the trend is positive or negative. Give each part its own body paragraph and preview both in your introduction. Rushing or ignoring one part is the most common way to lose marks on Task Response.
For the 'positive or negative' part, do I have to choose one side?
You should give a clear overall view, but you may acknowledge the other side. A strong answer commits to a position — positive, negative, or 'more positive than negative' — then concedes the opposing point and rebuts it, as the Band 9 essay does with rising pension costs. Sitting perfectly on the fence usually reads as an unclear position and lowers your score.
How many words and paragraphs should this essay have?
Write at least 250 words in about 40 minutes; there is no upper limit, but roughly 270 to 300 is comfortable. A four- or five-paragraph structure works best: an introduction, one paragraph on the causes, one on your positive or negative evaluation, and a short conclusion that adds no new ideas.